171011 – i am a creature 

i am a creature of multiple dimensions 

width 

depth

height 

time

space 

sound 

maybe it is why i have trouble reconciling myself in your world 

for the first time i feel as though i understand the disconnection 

the distinction 

my flaw is not my distance from your perception 

but my lack of empathy 

i am not different from you 

you are different from me

do you see it? 

that’s a mean question 

but irrelevant 

you are happy in your two dimensions 

i am curious in my many

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171007 – where my head is at

this damn cold.

of all the times i should get a cold.

my body feels drained and hurts from coughing.

as if my sleep patterns weren’t disturbed enough.

in the midst of changes in my life.

in the midst of recording something to fix broken impressions.

in the midst of writing my first solo live show in some time.

i pause recordings to spit out phlegm.

(im sorry, i know it’s gross, but if you are going to read about my reality you get it all)

it is hard to focus on the notes i’ve charted.

a path through my own space and time.

i sway between my own emotions and those of others.

trying to create to reveal to relate my own statement.

glitches and heavenly choirs. 

times that don’t fit. 

things i must fix. 

resolutions to find. 

maybe i push myself harder than i have to.

but sometimes, i don’t feel as though i have a choice.

i have to make something.

something beautiful.

oh black francis, where is my mind!? 
i suspect the cold medicine has kicked in. i just talked to my plant, gary.

and he talked back. 

171003 – the ambient ping 

where does scalesofangels come from?

a lot of places. eno was probably my first exposure to ambient music, and i later discovered cage, subotnick and cuccurullo.

but somewhere in there, a friend hipped me to the ambient ping, and after my first, maybe fifteen years ago, i was hooked.

toronto’s experimental music scene would probably not be as prolific were it not for the work that jamie and scott have put into making sure that the ping was there for people who needed it.

props where props are due.

where is their key to the city?

http://rolandblog.ca/ambient-ping-18th-anniversary/

170902 – this is me

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this is me.

tired and awake.

but the sound hits me and there is no way that i can ignore it.

1:17 and there is no way that i can sleep.

it starts with a sequence.

something that has occupied my brain for quite some time.

i translate it to one device.

that speaks to another.

i add the patch cords.

and i tweak the parameters.

attack.

sustain.

delay.

and it comes alive.

so i grab my bass.

and i tweak.

more distortion.

more echo.

more vibrato.

and the sound comes together.

pulsing.

rhythmic. 

it takes me so i run into it.

i surf it.

i lose track of time.

so while you sleep, i create.

not sure which one of us is getting the better end of the deal.

170819 – i was screaming

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i was screaming

before i realized it was at myself

trying to show the way i hear the world

angry voices yelling over each other

a million lies for every truth

frustrated and alone even when together

denying the connections that define our tiny nature

a miracle of temperature, physics and biology

seeking the miracle of the knowledge of our existence

defining our spaces

defining ourselves

illusions heaped on illusions

delusions fed by delusions

seeking the patterns to put us in our places

but there are none

and faced with the horrible realization of that

i was screaming

before i realized i was screaming at myself.