i am a creature of multiple dimensions
maybe it is why i have trouble reconciling myself in your world
for the first time i feel as though i understand the disconnection
my flaw is not my distance from your perception
but my lack of empathy
i am not different from you
you are different from me
do you see it?
that’s a mean question
you are happy in your two dimensions
i am curious in my many
this damn cold.
of all the times i should get a cold.
my body feels drained and hurts from coughing.
as if my sleep patterns weren’t disturbed enough.
in the midst of changes in my life.
in the midst of recording something to fix broken impressions.
in the midst of writing my first solo live show in some time.
i pause recordings to spit out phlegm.
(im sorry, i know it’s gross, but if you are going to read about my reality you get it all)
it is hard to focus on the notes i’ve charted.
a path through my own space and time.
i sway between my own emotions and those of others.
trying to create to reveal to relate my own statement.
glitches and heavenly choirs.
times that don’t fit.
things i must fix.
resolutions to find.
maybe i push myself harder than i have to.
but sometimes, i don’t feel as though i have a choice.
i have to make something.
oh black francis, where is my mind!?
i suspect the cold medicine has kicked in. i just talked to my plant, gary.
and he talked back.
where does scalesofangels come from?
a lot of places. eno was probably my first exposure to ambient music, and i later discovered cage, subotnick and cuccurullo.
but somewhere in there, a friend hipped me to the ambient ping, and after my first, maybe fifteen years ago, i was hooked.
toronto’s experimental music scene would probably not be as prolific were it not for the work that jamie and scott have put into making sure that the ping was there for people who needed it.
props where props are due.
where is their key to the city?
sorry, been busy
been recording for the past few days (weeks?)
finished a really amazing song tonight
i do this thing
when im in the final part of recording, i don’t change my shirt
after i get out of the dark
gonna change my shirt
sunday night in the sound palace
there are times where i ask myself
what am i doing?
i played my heart out
big balls bass player
where i am only sound
i feel my heart
as i drone
sunday in the sound palace
this is me.
tired and awake.
but the sound hits me and there is no way that i can ignore it.
1:17 and there is no way that i can sleep.
it starts with a sequence.
something that has occupied my brain for quite some time.
i translate it to one device.
that speaks to another.
i add the patch cords.
and i tweak the parameters.
and it comes alive.
so i grab my bass.
and i tweak.
and the sound comes together.
it takes me so i run into it.
i surf it.
i lose track of time.
so while you sleep, i create.
not sure which one of us is getting the better end of the deal.
i was screaming
before i realized it was at myself
trying to show the way i hear the world
angry voices yelling over each other
a million lies for every truth
frustrated and alone even when together
denying the connections that define our tiny nature
a miracle of temperature, physics and biology
seeking the miracle of the knowledge of our existence
defining our spaces
illusions heaped on illusions
delusions fed by delusions
seeking the patterns to put us in our places
but there are none
and faced with the horrible realization of that
i was screaming
before i realized i was screaming at myself.