170902 – this is me

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this is me.

tired and awake.

but the sound hits me and there is no way that i can ignore it.

1:17 and there is no way that i can sleep.

it starts with a sequence.

something that has occupied my brain for quite some time.

i translate it to one device.

that speaks to another.

i add the patch cords.

and i tweak the parameters.

attack.

sustain.

delay.

and it comes alive.

so i grab my bass.

and i tweak.

more distortion.

more echo.

more vibrato.

and the sound comes together.

pulsing.

rhythmic. 

it takes me so i run into it.

i surf it.

i lose track of time.

so while you sleep, i create.

not sure which one of us is getting the better end of the deal.

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170819 – i was screaming

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i was screaming

before i realized it was at myself

trying to show the way i hear the world

angry voices yelling over each other

a million lies for every truth

frustrated and alone even when together

denying the connections that define our tiny nature

a miracle of temperature, physics and biology

seeking the miracle of the knowledge of our existence

defining our spaces

defining ourselves

illusions heaped on illusions

delusions fed by delusions

seeking the patterns to put us in our places

but there are none

and faced with the horrible realization of that

i was screaming

before i realized i was screaming at myself.

170811 – exploding silver dreams

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with all of the projects i have on the go, i tend to hop around instrumentally quite a bit. some days it’s all keyboards, sometimes it’s a mix of keyboards and guitars. or guitar on its own. other times it’s bass. or bass synth. or bass synths with keyboards. and just to get complicated, let’s throw in baritone.

you get the picture.

the point is what am i chasing?

exploding silver dreams.

‘well,’ you say, ‘clearly the acid got to this fellow cause now he’s going on about exploding silver dreams.’

not so.

if i were looking for something as simple as putting all the notes in the right order, i could strap on my guitar and get out there and join a journey cover band.

(just kidding. i reaaaaallly hate journey. not as much as bon jovi, but they are a close second.)

but im not looking to do that.

i’m chasing something. something i cannot explain.

transcendent moments where sound transforms me.
transforms the spaces we occupy.
transforms minds.

and since i don’t know what to call it, i call it exploding silver dreams.

now, if you’ll excuse me, i have to get out my wire snippers and do some restringing on my 6 string electric oscillation machine.

(that’s a fancy way of saying ‘guitar’.)